Wimci 2010-12

August 31, 2010

I will ask you a simple question

Filed under: Classes — Piranha @ 5:52 am
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  1. On students taking time to do a calcuation –
    Prof – “Still we use laptop, calculator … still to arrive at answer it takes so much time … technology is bad; it is slow”
  2. When students were all shouting the answer at the same time … the Prof kept asking again and again and students kept increasing the voice level –
    Prof – “People get so irritated when I ask again and again … you must understand how much I get irritated … If I can tolerate you so much …. you must also tolerate me”
  3. Prof – “Lets assume the road coming to ### institute is closed … what value will ### land will have … Otherwise also what it has??”
  4. Explaining that a company can’t decide anything it wants and should be able to answer the shareholders questions
    Prof – “In life you can do whatever you want to do … but I am saying how the public will look at you … If you are immune to all this, you can do what you want”
  5. Explaining depreciation of equipment and rare scenarios where you make a profit after selling old equipment.
    Prof – “Lets take washing machine … it has no value … you people wash everything in that.. even your shoes. There might be a crazy guy who says ‘I wanted a machine where ### students wash there clothes’ … ”
  6. Prof – “I will give you an easy assignment which you can solve with your common sense . Ofcourse when I say this tomorrow you cannot say you did not understand … because it questions your commonsense”
  7. On an open book quiz
    Prof – “You will not be able to finish in 30 mins … so decide you want to read the book or write the exam”

August 25, 2010

if You can understand, You will understand

Filed under: Classes — Piranha @ 1:36 pm
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  1. On marks for CP – “Oh you are trying for CP.. In class of 90 you should really look like a CLOWN for me to identify you..sometimes when I go to the market I can see people staring at me.. then I think, oh this guy may be in my class … what are you talking of CP”
  2. Explaining inventory management – “This is against your operations where you say decrease inventory, decrease wip, all those Japanese terms … neither you are Japanese, neither faculty is Japanese, neither you are in japan … but still you read about these Japanese terms”
  3. Student stands at the door and asks for permission – Prof -“They are standing there as if they are so obedient … as if they don’t do anything without my permission … if they see me in the corridor they don’t care … might be they expect me to say ‘don’t come in’ ”

    Student runs towards his chair after entering the class
    Prof – “Walk in the corridor run in the class”

  4. On investment bankers/consultants- Prof –
    “They have been advised by an investment banker … probably a business graduate”
    “By showing a higher value investment banker would create his own value”
    On investments bankers report of a company – Prof – “Generally they build a spiral of 30-40 pages … you need another consultant to understand the report …. just like your assignments”
    “If I put it bluntly I would say .. ‘He acts like a pimp’ …. *pause* … How many of you want to become an investment banker … your dream job is to join an investment firm … that is a pimp house”
  5. Relating mergers and acquisitions with boy and girl relationship – “You look at a girl for the first time … and find this is the girl that i need … (do) you start evaluating her?”
    Class starts giving answers on what the boy should do …
    Prof -“See the CP … there was not even one guy when I asked for the story in the case”

    “Boy will say .. -‘your father is my father-in-law, he is my father … i will not touch liquor, i will stop smoking … but after marriage you will not allow father-in-law to come in that street’

  6. On student saying Goodwill is the additional savings of merger – “Synergy is a child born out of marriage … why will buyer of this firm pay for the child before hand … you get married you have a child .. god knows whose child it is”
  7. On no response for a question on the case – Prof – “When you come to subject there is silence”
  8. On student not accepting profs argument – Prof – “This is the problem with MBA students … even if they are wrong it is very difficult for them to accept it”
  9. While mentioning generosity towards Shareholders using LIFO/FIFO,
    Prof – “Bollywood actress becoming generous on a magazine page .. what difference does it make?. No material benefit”
  10. On all reasons by students failing – Prof – “These are justifications that are flying out of the window”
  11. On assignments – Prof – “That too 15 copies will have the same numbers … as if I am doing an imposition”
  12. On students not able to remember the numbers in the assignment – “You are like gajini … you don’t remember what you did in the morning …. *relating memory to quizzes* … it is easy for us to correct … first of all they don’t know such a subject exists … if they have good memory they will know the subject but will not remember the what he wrote in the quiz … if someone comes with a query … you should appreciate his confidence on his memory and give him marks”
  13. Referring to the institute – “Will you say all the goods that go out of ### are finished goods … some of them go out as absolute raw materials”
  14. On student arguing about ethics – Prof – “If you deeply think about ethics you cannot be in a business school .. i am sorry that you got in ”
  15. Reg Mentioning of LIFO to FIFO, faculty asked how should we inform the share holders reg that.
    Student – “Very Few people will read the notes sir”
    Prof – “Very few people have read this case also…”
  16. “You hate this accounting subject and wen u join a company, U will close the Accounts department as such…”

August 18, 2010

Am I right or NOT?

Filed under: Classes — Piranha @ 3:26 pm
Tags: , , , ,
  1. On students submitting copied assignments – “I might give different grades for different submissions … it will be embarrassing for me”
    “Copying is not risky for you it is risky for me … i will give one assignment B and one assignment C … This verification has to be done across the section”
    “When U submit assignment, who all copied, submit it together. Else, for same document I will give different grades and again U will question me. If in the same section, I have to check ninety assignments. If U copy from other section, then one hundred eighty”
  2. On making someone else get printouts – “generally we depute our girlfriend to do this … of course here it is very scarce … they have more options”
  3. On hand written submissions – “People think if they write with hand they will get more marks .. because more hard work … it is not like that … you are not willing to work hard and not even pay money”
  4. On less response in class – “Make some noise yaar .. that’s what is CP”
  5. After listing out the four options available – “Generally we are out of box thinkers and we can come up with a fifth method .. if we have a fifth option then we will select the fifth option and write it on the screen”
  6. On only 70 people raising hands till the second last option – “You assume that the remaining people are in the last option … there are many people not knowing what is going on here”
  7. When a student raised his hand hesitantly – “You are voting for this …. *turning towards class* … because he raises the pencil like this”
  8. On the example where tenant can own part of the house – “It is already risky to give you a house …. if he says you own part of the house … you will own the basement and start destroying the basement”
    “You will start owning the building .. you will start owning the family members of the owner … you become bigger than the owner”
  9. On an untidy submission – “It is like a kirana shop list” … Student -“it is what is written inside that matters” Prof – “Tomorrow you should not write in a newspaper and say read from it …. you should not write in a circle and say start from here (and end here) … …. … … I am an innocent man”
  10. “Company, Management, Management family are all the same. reliance Board Room discussions are equal to Ambani Kitchen room discussions”

August 17, 2010

Rs1034 for a class of 75 mins

Filed under: Classes — Piranha @ 7:07 pm
Tags: , , ,

Disadvantage of the prof not knowing the subject

HINT – Alright!!

Disadvantages of student not knowing Hindi

Hint-From the stage artist turned Prof

Ya .. Go ahead then

Filed under: Classes — Piranha @ 2:52 pm
Tags: , , , ,
  1. On the case where uncle dies and leaves a farm in his will – “Uncle had willed a farm; she knew (about) the will… with the help of the lawyer she finished off the uncle”
  2. “It seems like most of you are not aware what exercise we are discussing … is that so”
  3. “Students here are such that if they were given a big answer sheet and a marketing question paper, they will start preparing Transaction Analysis table”
  4. On students saying that they will prepare a Transaction Analysis table – “You need a big sheet now, you will use it as a mat … put your head and sleep on that … looks like that’s what you have done in the midterm”
  5. “Once you become a manager you will say ‘get a Transaction Analysis sheet’ … the poor accountant will say ‘what is the Transaction Analysis table’ … you will say ‘how u don’t have a Transaction Analysis’. That will be the big change you bring about in the company … from now on you will have a Transaction Analysis table for everything”
  6. Explaining the difference between fixed and variable costs – “Price of the book that you have is a variable cost and the little salary they give me is the fixed cost. They want to take maximum benefit of this fixed cost and kept adding more chairs in the class … it will not surprise me if they break the wall (at the end) and then the guys would need binoculars to see this side, what is exactly happening. They might add another vertical layer on top also ….
    It looks like fixed cost in this institute is really a fixed cost … It does not vary with capacity”
  7. “Revenue is going at a lag of one year and expense goes with the current year. This is one more method you have invented. We will add this to the midterm list.”
  8. If you are asked to write a mission statement for a company … you like this strategic statements … every quarter you write a strategic statement and still talk about long term goals.
  9. On not able to recognize revenue completely due to writeoffs – Student – “Generally we assume that once we write an invoice we will get the revenue”… Prof- “I appreciate your positive attitude
  10. Student – “Sir your logic does not use the numbers” … Prof –“I have not used … I am ignorant, innocent … you use it … …. *pause*… give him the mike also”
  11. On the method of entering revenue after making the product usable – “Making it usable … I am thinking if ### will recognize revenue ever”
  12. Asking the description of the problem to students- Prof- “What next?”
    Student –“ 3 methods of calculation”
    Prof- “What Next?”
    Student – Questions
    Prof – “What Next?”
    Student – “Next Case”
    Prof- “Each of us is a very good case”
  13. “We can admit students in 2nd term also. To clear 1st Term, U just need to buy a dictionary that mentions all the business terms … that’s all !! …Who knows that student who comes in 2nd term may perform better than all of us”
  14. “Why worry about perishability of the goods, you should be worried about durability of the customer”

August 14, 2010

The name is Raj … Accounting Raj

Filed under: Classes — Piranha @ 1:11 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Any questions ask me right now …. OK .. Lets take it further

1. ### being part of committee of ICAI – “So called big ###s are part of the team, not us … Just by having the same name it does not mean that you are the same breed”
2. On standards of ASB-
   “They create an ambiguous standard and then help you interpret them”
   “They correct their mistakes in accounting standards and then call it a review”
   “They always keep an eye open to copy from elsewhere”
3. On AS -1 Accounting standard – “They took 2 years to copy the first standard”
4. On his own working in one section being submitted as assignment submission in another section
   “I left my slide here and in the next class they submitted my own assignment to me. It is very exciting to see your own assignment in printed format”
   “you should be in ICAI for the speed of copying because people there in ICAI are taking few years to copy standards from others”
5. On disclosure of silly mistakes(pun intended) in mid term marks, he will make a presentation
   “I will not disclose names… don’t worry. But you can find out… I will look at the person when I tell”
6. After the prof clarifies a query of the student … student – “Yes that sounds reasonable” .. Prof – “Thanks for the evaluation”
7. “Whoever has supplied books for you will have to wait for many years to recognize its value”
8. On mid term exams – “learning happens after the event”
9. In response to students comment “Expected expense incurred from expected revenue” … Prof – “This will be a good answer in the answer sheet”
10. Explaining why some companies buy loss making companies – “In life it is good to make a loss … anything can create value. If one gets all F’s don’t get scared … it may create value …. you don’t know”
11. “..Many mid terms will come and go and many end terms will come and go .. but life moves on but that’s OK .. that’s a part of learning as well … at the end of it you will find that you have not learnt anything.Then at the end of it a bunch of jokers will come to hire you”
12. “You don’t expect it to work for more days if it is Indian made… especially if it is made by an Indian”
13. Q from prof – “How many Accounting standards are existing in India?” ….. Answer from student: “92 (The strength of 92 of the class :P)” Faculty: “There should be more than 92 standards as there are more than 1 method created by few of you….”
14. Why Seniors come to hire in our campus? Ans – “They know the talent of students here. and so they come here as we won’t affect their jobs with our talent…”
15. “I gave this problem to 60 students last year, they were not able to solve… this year I gave it to 90 students still no solution. That shows intelligence is not correlated to student size …. I am thinking of asking PGP office to make accounting an open laptop exam – bcoz even then u wont be able to solve it …. I would even circle the right answers to help you – even then u wont be able to arrive at them …. I can even give you the paper on monday and take it back on next monday. All you pgp1s n pgp2s can do it together – even then u wont be able to do it…
16. “The answers will be given to you …. all you have to do is to come with a 1 Re coin and scratch, the answers will appear …. The correct answers will be in bold … am pretty sure that there will still be people who make mistakes”

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